The Blog

Mourning Summer and Learning From What Worked: Back to School

I felt like I was unexpectedly yanked out of summer, moving from warm sand to a cool sidewalk on a sunny fall morning. We awoke surprisingly early, matted down long summer hair, threw as many school supplies as we could organize into backpacks from last year, and kicked open the front door to the familiar sea of little kids and parents moving in a stream down the sidewalk to the first day of school. The feeling was of excitement and mourning. As a parent, I guided my guys to the front door of their elementary where many tearful, relieved, and harried parents caught up with each other and waved their children off. I too said ‘hi’ to a few friends and neighbors but promptly walked Eve back to the driveway, hopped in the car to drop her at Grandma’s house, and scoot off to my own campus. It begins again. Wash and repeat, the well-worn cycle of parenthood.

Although I probably could have slowly eased all of us into school mode, I wanted to hang on the last moments of summer. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t dying for my kids to go back to school Sorry, annoying – I know, many parents can’t identify with me here, but for us – this was a good summer. We were laxer than we should have been about reading, tutoring, and even general hygiene but our mental health soared. We surprisingly enjoyed the long lazy days of August together. I tempered my need to impose some inflexible structure (although some was important) and let my kids dictate much of their own time. iPad in the morning (oh my!), day filled with outdoor, unstructured activities, and dinner in the evening. Simple as that.

But, now we are off the races. I notice my shoulders feeling stiffer and my belly feeling jittery as I try to pack in my own work and manage the once again full lives of three little people I have under my care. How quickly this feeling returns. Instead of being swept into it and just working harder and faster to keep up, I am setting an intention for the fall – I will say ‘no’ more often, work to let go of the guilt associated with it, and remember these years are fleeting and fundamental in teaching my kids to live a well-balanced life. I am not perfect, they are not perfect, but my goal is to slow down. That means listening more to how my kids look and feel in the environment I am creating, talking about the importance of self-care and mental health, and modeling this at home. 

A farmstand in South Dartmouth, MA

A farmstand in South Dartmouth, MA

Last Gasp of Summer Quahogs

A friend brought these over for a summer dinner. Kids and adults alike went crazy for the buttery stuffed clams and my 3-year-old asks for them every time we go to the market! Adapted from ‘Tim O’Tooles’ Famous Stuffed Quahogs’

4 cups water

16 ounces chorizo sausage

12 quahogs

1 large onion, finely chopped

1 sleeve of Ritz crackers, crushed

½ cup butter

1/3 cup of sherry

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Bring water to a boil over high heat. Add sausage links; reduce heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove links from broth; reserve the broth. Remove casings from the sausage.

Bring the broth back to a simmer and add the quahogs; cook until they open, 5 to 10 minutes. Remove the quahogs; reserve the broth. Remove the cooked quahogs from the shells. Separate the shell halves. If necessary wash the shells.

Place the sausage and quahog meat into the bowl of a food processor; process until chopped, about 12 seconds, depending on your processor. Scrape mixture into a bowl. Add chopped onion to the processor; chop about 5 seconds. Stir in to the meat mixture.

Mix together the Ritz crackers, sherry, and sausage/clam/onion mixture. Spoon filling into empty clam shell halves and top each with a small pat of butter (about a third of a teaspoon).

Place the shells on a baking pan; bake in the preheated oven until toasty brown on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

Read More

How to Handle End of Summer Jitters

Summer vacation is winding down and school is fast approaching.  In June, our children could barely wait to put away their backpacks away and spend their days free but now as summer months pass by and camps end, many kids are complaining of being bored and parents are noticing increased irritability. Kids and parents alike rely on structure to help guide the day and more importantly, manage mental health issues like depression and anxiety. As a Mom, I see my kids’ (and my own) anxiety rise when visions of relaxing unstructured summer days quickly morph into the reality of grumpy children kicking around the house saying, “I’m bored” or “Can I use the iPad?”. Many parents know that feeling and are left scrambling to squeeze their child into a last-minute camp or activity to fill the time. And as a clinical psychologist, I often see kids of all ages whose depression and anxiety peak into much more serious clinical presentations when the structure of the day is gone. Structure holds kids and allows them to feel safe, knowing what to expect throughout the day and the week. Although it is crucial for children to have unstructured, free time each day, it is important for there to be some routine and structure (however you define it) to help children manage their emotions. Parents and children should sit down and discuss end of summer plans, how much time is left until school, and how the family will spend time until that point. Kids need to know what to expect.

 

Things to consider:

-        Know your child. Is your child someone who does better with structure or unstructured time?

-        Create structure somewhere and communicate it. Children do better when they know what to expect and understand the overall plan.

-        Structure doesn’t have to mean committing to camps or formal activities but it can include doing expectable activities like reading in the afternoon, attending regular events (story hour at the library on Wednesdays), and having regular days to play with friends.

-        Although it is not vital, many children do best when they participate in some organized activity.

-        Make sure your child is getting plenty of time to: eat, sleep, read, and play - with peers, with family, alone, and outside.     

-        Begin to lay the expectation that school is starting. It makes the transition smoother.

-        Collaborate with friends and neighbors and each take half a day to host a structured activity.

 

Symptoms to look out for:

-        Loneliness. Often, when children lose structure, they can become socially isolated and lonely, which can lead to poor mental health. Stay tuned in to whether your child is maintaining regular, healthy social contact with peers.

-        Social comparison, also known as ‘F.O.M.O. (fear of missing out)’ Our children are constantly bombarded with regular images of their peers at various social events, leaving our children feeling excluded and sad. Help children manage these emotions by helping them understand their feelings, put the images in context, and respond in a healthy way.   

-        Increased anxiety. Many people (especially children) experience increased anxiety when structure is lost. Look for symptoms of irritability, excessive worry, preoccupation, trouble sleeping (sleeping), change in appetite (more or less), change in energy (more or less), trouble concentrating and physical symptoms (belly aches, headaches).

-        Increased depression. Look for irritability, anger, feelings of hopelessness, apathy, sadness, social withdrawal, increased crying, changes in sleep/appetite/energy, and physical symptoms (i.e. somatic complaints).

-        Increased screen time. Often children turn to the screen (television, computer, or video games) to help manage boredom. Although this moderate screen time is reasonable, excessive screen time can create other psychological and physical issues. See the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines for suggestions (https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/american-academy-of-pediatrics-announces-new-recommendations-for-childrens-media-use.aspx).

-        If you are concerned about your child, call your insurance company or search www.psychologytoday.com to see a list of local clinicians.

Read More

The Case for Choosing Downtime Over Organized Sports

My husband and I went out on a bit of a limb this winter: We made a family decision not to have our kids participate in organized sports (our children are 3, 5, and 8 years old). Gasp!

Long ago, we decided to avoid hockey unless our kids showed a strong interest. My husband had spent many, many hours in the hockey rink from early childhood through adulthood with his parents very kindly schlepping he and his brother to every corner of New England. We didn’t opt out because he had some horrible experience or was pressured by those intense sports parents we often hear about. He loved it, and some of his best memories are on the ice.

During the winter season, I always played basketball and have equally warm associations. So, no, we aren’t parents who are philosophically against organized sports. We were both three-season athletes in high school, each captained two teams, and athletics were a huge part of our lives.

But the tide has changed. In talking with past coaches and seeing children in my clinical practice, sports have become a specialization for older kids, and one of the many harried activities for younger ones. And for many families, it is just another stressor with hours and hours spent in rinks or other venues and away from time just hanging around together. There is nothing inherently wrong with hockey, basketball, or any sport; in fact, there are a lot of positive benefits derived from these activities when they are balanced with free time, but the evidence shows too many activities and not enough downtime is bad for our kids’ health.

Things are different than when we were growing up. My husband and I both work a lot, time is limited, and stress is high. Our experience is not unique and we know that the current high pressure, fast-paced culture works wholly against the development of healthy children. Increasingly, research shows that kids raised in this type of environment have higher rates of mental health issues and poorer coping skills in childhood and beyond.

In response to this, researchers and clinicians from Stanford University developed a program called Challenge Success to raise awareness, advocate for family time and downtime, and give parents tools and guidelines to help address some of these issues. Denise Pope, one of the founders of Challenge Success and an author of Overloaded and Underprepared: Strategies for Stronger Schools and Healthy, Successful Kids advocates for protecting “PDF” (playtime, downtime, and family time) as our children have significantly less downtime than we did growing up. Younger kids should have at least as much free play time as structured activity time, which seems unfathomable if you think about the current tone in most middle-upper class communities.

At first, when the registration deadlines passed and “free weekends” started popping up in our calendar this winter, I noticed a tinge of anticipatory anxiety and self-doubt: “We have super active kids. I think they need to play sports!” “Maybe other kids need more downtime, but ours need to stay busy or hell will break loose at home!” But, alas, the world did not crumble, and we found quite the opposite. We all felt calmer.

Instead of rushing one of the kids to basketball on Friday evenings after work, my kids played foosball and I sat on the couch in front of the fire and read my new cookbook as I planned for a family dinner. We were all tired from a long, busy week and were happy to have downtime. Instead of shuttling the kids around on Saturday morning, I actually got to the gym before we packed up for a quick and easy mini-ski trip.

In fact, I sit in our hotel room right now and write to the sounds of my husband’s snoring and the jostling of little feet. We plan to sleep in (whatever that means when you have three young kids), swim, ski, and not have to rush home to any planned activities. It just feels right. And no, sports aren’t out for our family completely.

Obviously, there is a lot of value in athletics for other reasons, but there does need to be some vigilance around prioritizing free time and an ongoing, cost-benefit assessment of added activities. Just because the rest of the town is doing said activity is not a good enough reason. For me, signing up for spring soccer and lacrosse is on my long to-do list, but this winter was a start at refocusing and an attempt to prioritize PDF when it felt reasonable and possible for my family.

image.jpeg

Fresh Pasta with Sweet Italian Sausage, Spinach, Garlic, and White Sauce

½ lb. of ground sweet Italian sausage

About ½ box of baby spinach

1 clove of chopped garlic

4 tablespoons butter

¼ cup of flour

2 cups whole milk

½ teaspoon of salt

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

A box of pasta cooked per it’s instruction (I prefer the fresh pasta)

Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and brown sausage, taking care to break up into bite sized pieces. When the sausage is browned and cooked through, add the garlic and spinach, being careful not to burn the garlic. Cook until the spinach is mostly wilted. Then add the butter and flour and mix until it comes together into something that resembles a paste (1-2 minutes). Slowing add the milk, gently stirring as you go. The sauce should barely simmer as it thickens, about 5 minutes. Add the salt and pepper.    Cook the pasta according to the box. Once the pasta is cooked, drain most of the salty pasta water leaving 1-2 Tbs. in the pot. Add the sausage-white sauce to the large, pasta pot and dump the pasta back into the pot. Gently mix. Enjoy!

Read More
Recipe, Stress Recipe, Stress

Managing Holiday Stress

The holiday buzz is in the air and the dark nights are lit with twinkly trees and festive decorations. But just below the surface, joy and excitement may feel whitewashed with the stress of busy schedules and a sense that there is not enough time ‘to get ready.’ Pause. Breathe. Relax your shoulders. Let’s re-evaluate and refocus.   

Things to consider:

Be Emotionally Aware: Notice your thoughts and feelings – they are probably more mixed than you would like, and that is okay. It is normal to have conflicting feelings (“I love the holiday spirit and hate the busyness!”). Accept those feelings and practice self-compassion.

Assess and Protect Time: Assess your schedule and protect your time. Are you over committed? Ask yourself what you want to say ‘no’ to, and say NO.

Reflect on Important Traditions: What holiday traditions are most important to you and your family? Make sure you plan time for those. Ask yourself: how do you want to remember the holidays? What is most important – togetherness, the decorations, the food? What was most important to you growing up? Reflect on what you want to focus on versus what the reality is. Make adjustment so those are more aligned.

Be Realistic: Expect tears, potential disappointment, and tardiness. That is often part of the holidays. Practicing a healthy dose of realism and flexibility will save you strife.

Maintain Healthy Habits: Time gets short but prioritize and maintain healthy habits. Your mind and body will thank you. Sleep. Eat. Exercise. They are the holy grail of health. 

Plan: What can you organize/order/do ahead of time that will make it easier to enjoy the holidays? Do it.

Manage Expectations Around Family: Often, the holidays are spent with family. For many, this is challenging. Acknowledge and anticipate the difficult parts of being with family and re-focus on what is gained. Think about what you appreciate about each person. Commit to not talking about contentious topics (politics, money, religion…you know what they are). Shift focus from “I” to “We.” Also, be realistic about the amount of time you can comfortably spend with extended family and respect that. Practice hygge. 

More is Not Better: Psychology researchers at Virginia Tech found that bundling a ‘big’ gift with ‘small’ ones dilutes the overall perceived value of the larger one. From a psychological perspective, you are better off giving a nicer gift and leaving the smaller, fill-in gifts aside. Save yourself the time and headache and simplify shopping. Buy what you can afford and leave the rest.   

Remember the Holidays Are About Giving (Not Receiving): Help your child learn this concept early by focusing on what he/she can do for others – donate to a local charity, collect toys or food for the drives at school, volunteer at The Milton Food Pantry. Resist the urge to overbuy your child gifts. Instead, keep the focus where it should be – celebrating together. Dr. Timmins at East Milton Pediatrics recommends this approach to gift giving: “Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.”

image.jpeg

Super Simple (Almost) Fudge

(adapted from Nigella Lawson’s Nigella Express, 2007)

I often make this around the holidays to bring to a last-minute cocktail party or to pack in a small box and give as a gift. Making traditional fudge requires the use of candy thermometer and can be a bit finicky. This is a quick and delicious substitute. 

12 ounces of chocolate chips (I prefer a mix of mostly bittersweet chocolate and some milk chocolate)

1 14-ounce can of condensed milk

A pinch of salt

1 cup of shelled nuts (pistachios make it salty and festive, walnuts or pecans are deliciously traditional)

Melt the chocolate chips, condensed milk, and salt over low heat. Chop the nuts into medium sized pieces.  Add the nuts to the pot and stir well. Pour this mixture into a 9-inch square foil tray, smoothing the top. Cool the fudge and then refrigerate until firm. Cut into small pieces and serve.  Extra fudge freezes well for later.

Read More
Recipe, Stress Recipe, Stress

Stress Coping: Psychological Skills for the Home

The Mind and Body are intimately connected. What we think affects how we feel and how our body functions. Here is a little dose of what psychologists call Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.). C.B.T. is a commonly used psychotherapeutic treatment that helps people improve their emotional state by changing their thoughts and behaviors. Through C.B.T., people learn how to notice their often habitual, negative and subconscious thought patterns that create stress in their lives.  In an oversimplification of the theory - thoughts influence emotions (feelings), emotions influence our behavior (what we do), and the behavior either supports the original thought, or not. 

Picture this – you get home from work and the house is a mess – dishes on counter, old pots on the stove, the kitchen table covered with paper, and shoes scattered about (sound familiar?). The kids and your partner are sitting on the couch relaxing and watching a movie together, apparently oblivious to the messy house. You think “They expect ME to clean up after them? I worked a full, long day! I do EVERYTHING! They don’t appreciate me at all!” The emotions you feel are probably something like frustration, annoyance, and most likely sheer anger. These emotions drive the behavior/how you respond. You might angrily begin cleaning up the dishes and yelling at your kids and partner to get moving. These behaviors can create a situation that reinforces the thought. Your family only hears and feels the emotion – the anger and frustration towards them (ignoring the words and meaning behind it) – and responds with anger and frustration toward you, making you feel unappreciated (your original thought).  This is an interactional model, meaning all points on the triangle reinforce each other. See The Thought-Emotion-Behavior Triangle show below: 

Let’s learn how to use C.B.T. at home. Understanding and noticing your thoughts is fundamental here. Assume most of your thoughts are automatic and come from past experiences – our expectations of how people behave, your ‘shoulds’. When an event happens, these thoughts occur automatically, without conscious awareness. Some of these thoughts are rational and based on the situation at hand, but most often they are irrational and based on assumptions or past experiences. So, how do you apply this at home? The work is to: 1) notice your thought pattern, and 2) notice the irrational, automatic thoughts that are interfering and creating negative emotional patterns.  

Types of Irrational Thoughts to Look Out For

(adapted from The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns)

  1. All or None Thinking: You see things in dichotomous categories. If your parenting falls short of perfect, you see yourself as bad parent. “I am either a good Mom or a bad Mom. Nothing in between exists.”

  2. Overgeneralization: You see a single, negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. “I worked a lot during my child’s early years. He must see me as unavailable, so why bother even trying. It’s too late now anyway.” 

  3. Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and focus on it exclusively so that the whole experience is colored with a negative perception. “My son cried at his birthday party so the whole party was ruined.” 

  4. Disqualifying the Positive:  Any positive experience is disqualified. It allows the person to hold onto a negative belief that may be serving a psychological purpose. “We are financially unstable” (despite being generally stable and just not making bonus this year). Or, “my child seriously struggles academically” (their child got mostly A’s and two C’s). 

  5. Jumping to Conclusions: It is what is sounds like. A definitive conclusion is made although there are not enough facts to determine that. “My son will not get into a good college” (because he failed 6th grade math). 

  6. Mind Reading: You assume a person is reacting negatively to you regardless of the reality. “She doesn’t like me because she did not talk with me at the party.”

  7. Fortune Telling: You are convinced that things will not turn out well. Again, “My son will not get into a good college.”

  8. Magnification/Catastrophizing or Minimization: The importance of things is exaggerated, such as your own error or someone’s success. Conversely, you minimize things until they are unimportant, such as your own positive qualities or other people’s flaws. “I forgot to send a lunch to school with my daughter again! The school is going to hate me!” “It was complete luck that I was given that promotion at work.” 

  9. Emotional Reasoning: Reading feelings as if they are facts. “I feel like my husband is cheating on me, therefore it must be true.”

  10. Should Statements: This is a common cognitive distortion. Listen for the word ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct ‘should’ statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment. “I should be able to get my work done, help my kids with all their homework, and get to the gym.” “I shouldn’t have eaten that dessert.”

  11. Labeling and Mislabeling: This is an exaggerated form of overgeneralization. When you make a mistake, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a bad mother.” When someone else makes a mistake, you attach a negative label to them. “He is a bad kid.” 

  12. Personalization: You take responsibility for an event that isn’t necessarily your responsibility. “My husband was late to work again. I should have woken him up and gotten him out the door on time.”

Begin to notice your automatic thoughts. This is the second in a series on stress in the family. Next time, we will learn how to track this cycle in a concrete way. To learn more, go to www.drbobbiwegner.com 

image.jpeg

Kid Friendly Sweet Potatoes

Yesterday my son turned 8 in November and he asked for these sweet potatoes for dinner. 

6 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 2 inch chunks

½ stick of salted butter

½ cup brown sugar

1-2 pinches of cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place sweet potatoes in a pan and cover with water. Bring to a boil and cook until they are soft (15-20 minutes). Drain. Add the rest of the ingredients (except the marshmallows) to the pan and dump the sweet potatoes on top. Mash until everything is blended. Spread the sweet potatoes in your favorite shallow casserole dish and cover with marshmallows. Cook 20-30 minutes until the marshmallows are melted and lightly toasted. I use a shallow casserole dish to maximize the marshmallow-sweet potato ratio and get kid buy in for a super food!  

Read More

The Impact of Parental Stress

We all know how damaging stress is but how does it relate to my family? Stress is contagious in some way. Well, it is nearly impossible to be the best parent you can be when you don’t feel well. Anyone who has experienced anxiety and stress knows how impossible it is to just ‘push through.’ In the worst-case scenario, it is debilitating. For many, it is uncomfortable and unpredictable and any sufferer would say that it impacts their life. It also directly affects your children more so than we would like to believe. Newborns look to their primary caregiver to help regulate their emotion. And, when babies are exposed to high levels of the stress hormone (Cortisol), they are at risk for developing behavioral problems and stress-related diseases later in life (Asok et al 2013; Luby et al 2013). When it is bad, toxic stress affects brain development and even shortens the lifespan. It’s not a pretty picture. Older children can be just as affected. When mothers experience anxiety and depression early in the child’s life, research has shown that the kids are more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems later (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131024102036.htm). Even in the healthiest homes, stress is present. Unfortunately, it is a part of current day culture. Running from one activity to the next is not only commonplace, it feels like if we aren’t doing so, our kids are behind. Stress affects kids’ mood and behavior in different ways including more aches and pains, worry, sadness, hyperactivity, oppositional behavior, withdrawal, depression and anxiety. Stress even suppresses the immune system, making it more difficult to heal from the everyday bumps and bruises of childhood. What a catch 22. Most would agree that having kids is stressful in modern day society, yet being stressed it bad for all our health and trickles down from parents to kids. So, what do we do about it? We need to: 1) assess the stress in our lives, 2) change our cognitive and behavioral response to stressful events, and 3) learn some basic coping skills that everyone in the family can use. This is the first in a series of how to manage stress and anxiety at home. To start, assess your own stress at home with a self-assessment. Later, changing your stressful thoughts and behaviors will be addressed.

References: 

Asok A, Bernard K, Roth TL, Rosen JB, and Dozier M. 2013. Parental responsiveness moderates the association between early-life stress and reduced telomere length. Dev Psychopathol. 25(3):577-85.

Luby J, Belden A, Botteron K, Marrus N, Harms MP, Babb C, Nishino T, and Barch D. 2013. The Effects of Poverty on Childhood Brain Development: The Mediating Effect of Caregiving and Stressful Life Events. JAMA Pediatr. 2013 Oct 28. doi: 10.1001/jamapediatrics.2013.3139.


Parental Stress Assessment

(Adapted from The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook for Kids: Help for Children to Cope with Stress, Anxiety, and Transitions, 2009)

Type of Stress: Mild (1 Point), Moderate (2 Points), Severe (3 Points)

Add your points below:

Work Hours

  • 20 hours or less - 1
  • 40 hours - 2
  • More than 40 hours/week - 3

Work Stress

  • Work is mostly pleasureable - 1
  • Work is tolerable - 2
  • Work creates significant stress in my life - 3

Number of Kids

  • One - 1
  • Two - 2
  • Three or more - 3

Childcare Support

  • I have generally have quality, reliable childcare - 1
  • I feel okay about my childcare but it could be better - 2
  • I am very pleased with my childcare - 3

Parents' Physical Health

  • I am generally in good health - 1
  • I have some health conditions that require treatment - 2
  • I have a health condition that interferes with my life - 3

Parents' Mental Health

  • I generally feel calm and content - 1
  • I sometimes seem to worry or feel more sad than others - 2
  • I often experience times when I can't stop worrying or feeling sad - 3

Financial Stability

  • I am able to save some money but not a lot - 1
  • I often worry that there is not enough money - 2
  • I have significant financial issues - 3

Social Support

  • I am mostly content with my social support - 1
  • I wish I had more friends and family around to spend time with - 2
  • I often feel alone and unsupported by friends and family - 3

Community

  • I am generally happy with my community - 1
  • I wish my community was a bit different than it is - 2
  • I dislike my local community and would like to move - 3

Safety at Home/Neighborhood

  • My homelife is safe - 1
  • My homelife is generally feels safe but sometimes I feel emotionally or physically threatened - 2
  • I do not feel safe at home - 3

Child's Physical Health

  • My child is in good health - 1
  • My child has some health issues that are generally manageable - 2
  • My child has serious health issues - 3

Child's Mental Health

  • My child is generally happy, aside from normal mood changes - 1
  • My child seems more unhappy or worried than other children - 2
  • My child often cries, worries, or acts our more than his/her peers - 3

Child's School Life

  • My child generally likes school and does well enough - 1
  • My child either doesn't like school and/or has some academic issues - 2
  • My child either hates school and/or has significant learning challenges - 3

Coping Skills

Other Problems

  • My child or I have some other mild problems not addressed here - 1
  • My child or I have other moderate problems otherwise not addressed in the assessment - 2
  • My child or I have other serious problems not addressed in this assessment - 3

Meals Eaten Together as a Family

  • Our family eats together 5-7 time/week - 1
  • Our family eats together 2-4 - 2
  • Our family eats together 0-2 times/week - 3

TOTAL: _____________________________

Scoring:

0-16 = Mild amount of stress. Looks like your parental stress is generally well managed.

17-32 = Moderate amount of stress. Sounds like you experience some parental and learning basic stress management skills could help.

33-47 = Significant amount of stress. Looks like you experience a significant amount of stress and could benefit from stress management skills and/or professional support.


Family Dinner Recipe: Beth Hayes’ Apricot Chicken Thighs

1 Package of Chicken Thighs

1 Jar of Apricot Preserves (I’ve also used Fig)

1 Tbs. Honey

1 Tbs. Grainy Mustard

1 Tbs. Olive Oil

Add the olive oil to a frying pan over high heat brown the chicken thighs and season with salt and pepper. Once the chicken is brown on both sides, dump the whole jar of preserves, the honey, and mustard on top of the chicken and mix. Turn the heat down to low and put a lid on. Finish cooking the chicken over a low simmer for about 20 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve over rice with a side salad. 

 

Read More