BobbiThumbnail.png

Dr. Bobbi Wegner is a MA and NY licensed clinical psychologist with expertise in health psychology and behavioral medicine.

Interview with Sarah Cambria: Love is Trying to Understand Someone Better

Interview with Sarah Cambria: Love is Trying to Understand Someone Better

You might see a tall, gorgeous blond with a bright smile and two little ones strolling down Canton Avenue and wonder who she is – that is Sarah Cambria, as beautiful on the inside as on the out. In the halls of preschool, you can hear her upbeat voice chatting with passing parents and feel her energy emanating. She regularly says things like, “You are doing a great job with your family! They are beautiful little souls”, and other totally feel good, hippy-dippy, genuine comments that leaves people feeling happier than when she found them. Or, you might see her swaying to her husband’s (Andy) band at Steel & Rye for Bluegrass brunch. And no, she doesn’t spend the morning mediating on how to be a good person, she is in fact is incredibly busy as a senior marketer for C Space, a marketing consulting firm. During her 2-year-old’ (Felix) nap and her 5-year-old’s (Sadie) playdate, we sat in her clean, airy living room and talked about how she supports her children on their journeys and what challenges her as a mother.  

What guides you in your parenting?

From the first time I met my kids and spend time with them every day, I know this is really their journey. They are so themselves and have always been.  It is my job to understand them. A yoga teacher once told me that love is really just trying to understand someone better. I want everyone to feel comfortable with who they are, and when things are tough, for us all to bond together. And, have humor around it. I always say why I am doing something, and try to understand why they are doing something. I do this because, you need to know yourself. You don’t have a lot of control in life around you so if you know why you react in certain ways - it will help guide.

I want them to feel physically supported – touch. I want them to feel that this is a loving world and share that with others. I want them to trust that they have the skills they need, and that the world is going to be safe and beautiful.                                                                                                

How do you cope with the more difficult days?

I try to find those moments when I feel really out of control or overstimulated. Transitions are often hard. In my mind, I am thinking, ‘I have to get to work’. Real life expectations can be challenging. When I feel totally out of control, I act really silly, ridiculously silly. Horribly embarrassing if anyone else saw.  The chances are one of them will laugh and change the energy enough. They call me ‘cooko bananas’.

What challenges you?

The ‘should haves’ are challenging for me. I work full time and wonder what a good mom who works full-time looks like. What does her house look like? What do the holidays look like? Then I start to say, ‘I should do this more’, and that is a really bad place to be. It’s around experience I ‘should’ be creating for my children. For example, I wanted to dye eggs at Easter. I had it all planned out. Felix was going to nap and Sadie and I were going to do it together. I got Felix down for a nap, and I thought ‘This is it. Mommy and Sadie time. This is going to be awesome. These are the memories’. And, I looked in the fridge and there were only brown eggs. I was sick about it. I thought, if I stayed at home, I would have figured this out. And, Sadie was like “These are the most beautiful eggs! They are so gorgeous” and she wanted to display them. My trigger is related to working a lot. Feeling like there isn’t enough hours in the day and I don’t want to cheat my family out of anything. That’s the hardest thing for me.

What would you share with a new parent?

To feel fulfilled as a Mom, find the things that make you feel connected with your kid. Notice when you are smiling. Note that and share it. It’s all in the moments. And if you have one of those moments in the day, it’s enough to get you through.

It’s okay to not know what you are doing. It’s also okay to say to someone I’m trying this and I don’t feel like it’s working. Admit to someone you trust that it’s hard.

Know that balance probably won’t happen in one day.

How do you think about family dinner?

Andy and I share the importance of family dinner. The night my husband isn’t home late from work, we eat as a family, and do a lot of lunch and brunch. We try to make it fun and expose a lot of foods to them. They try to guess what is in the food. We don’t give them a lot of choices. We make one dinner and everyone eats it or they don’t.

You can hear the complete interview on The Raising & Roasting podcast on www.drbobbiwegner.com or Itunes.


Sarah’s Go-To Dinner: Salmon Roasted in Butter

(from Mark Bittman in The New York Times)

Ingredients

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter

4 tablespoons minced chervil, parsley or dill

1 salmon fillet, 1 1/2 to 2 pounds

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Lemon wedges

Preparation

1.       Preheat the oven to 475 degrees. Place the butter and half the herb in a roasting pan just large enough to fit the salmon and place it in the oven. Heat about 5 minutes, until the butter melts and the herb begins to sizzle.

2.       Add the salmon to the pan, skin side up. Roast 4 minutes. Remove from the oven, then peel the skin off. (If the skin does not lift right off, cook 2 minutes longer.) Sprinkle with salt and pepper and turn the fillet over. Sprinkle with salt and pepper again.

3.       Roast 3 to 5 minutes more, depending on the thickness of the fillet and the degree of doneness you prefer. Cut into serving portions, spoon a little of the butter over each and garnish with the remaining herb. Serve with lemon wedges.

 

Let Them Go Back To School Without You: Is It Your Anxiety or Their's?

Let Them Go Back To School Without You: Is It Your Anxiety or Their's?

10 Tips on How to Be a Calmer Parent

10 Tips on How to Be a Calmer Parent